Or, a birthday gift from me to you

Hey friends! It was my birthday earlier this month and while this year’s was a strange one filled with highs and lows I’m grateful for it all. I thought it would be cool, since I turned 33, to share with you 3 thoughts, or things I’ve learned, this past year and also to leave you a little present in the form of 3 questions to ponder or journal. 3+3=33, get it?

3 thoughts

1. Embrace the unknown

I used to be, and still am, a big planner. It gives me a sense of control, albeit a false one, and that helps me get through life relatively calmly. However, there’s a balance that has to be struck because when my anxiety about the future becomes too strong I’ll fixate on a plan as if that’s the solution. In reality its, at best, a waste of my time to try to predict multiple potential future situations and prepare for them and, at worst, it just makes me more anxious because I feel overwhelmed by all the potential paths. This year, I focused on shifting my view by using the data and trends from my past experiences. My logic is, since I’ve made it this far in life already with varying amounts of unsuccessful and successful planning then this is proof that I don’t have to have everything figured out in advance and that I’ll be able to handle whatever future arrives. I’m accepting the fact that the future is unknown and I shouldn’t waste so much energy now trying to change that unchangeable fact.

2. Treat life like an experiment

Frequently with the projects I do and the goals I set, I let my perfectionist self take over. To a certain extent this can be good because having high expectations can lead to good results, but when the perfectionist mindset is too strong it can prevent me from even starting to make progress in the first place. A little voice in the back of my head whispers “Since it’ll never be perfect, why even bother…” and because of this all the enjoyment and excitement gets sucked out of whatever I wanted to do. In 2024 I focused on tempering that perfectionist voice with an experimental mindset. I now imagine a little scientist in my brain that reminds me that I should just try first and see what comes of it. It encourages me to try the opposite of what I think is the logical thing, to dare to bite off something bigger than I can chew, and most importantly that nothing really matters in the grand scheme of the infinite universe so I might as well just go for it and not take life, or myself, so seriously. 

3. Add my voice to something bigger

For so long I hemmed and hawed about posting my thoughts and opinions anywhere permanent; I didn’t think that I had anything novel or interesting to say, and I found comfort in the fleetingness of opinions expressed in conversation instead of other media. This newsletter, for example, has been a way for me to learn by doing and what I’m learning is that it’s okay for me to add my opinion to a bigger conversation and to just be a part of the discourse. It’s both exciting and a relief to know that I’m not going to be the one to “solve” these riddles of the human experience when it comes to topics like productivity, systems, and wellbeing. These are topics that people have pondered long before I existed, and will continue to talk about long after I’m gone. Instead, if I can lend some portion of my time and energy to exploring these topics — if I can bring my own perspective which is inherently different just because its mine — then that in and of itself feels like a worthwhile addition to the discussion.

All in all, this 33rd year of my life has felt like a big lesson in taking myself less seriously and so far that’s been a much more enjoyable way to live than how I’ve previously done things — white-knuckled on the steering wheel of life with anxiety and societal pressures pushing my foot to the gas or the brakes whenever things get scary.

3 questions

Here is my gift to you, some journal prompts that might spark some introspection and who knows what else!

1. On December 31st, what do I want to be celebrating? @JashiiCorrin (YouTube)

At this point, 2024 really feels like it’s over and it wont be long before I’m having to remind myself to write 2025 on everything. But in reality, there are over 2 months left, so is there anything that you wanted to do this year? Because you still have some time to get started, or maybe even to finish whatever it is that just popped into your mind.

2. If you only had 2 years left to live, what would your life look like? @Aliabdaal (YouTube)

This is a great question for figuring out what you might really and truly value, especially if you take money out of the equation. 2 years is 730 days, or just over 104 weeks. Imagine if this is what you had left: what would you spend your time doing and who would you spend your time with?

3. What is something that you could do today to make little you happy? @me

It’s so easy to get caught up in this game we call adulting that we forget there’s more to life than just making it to the next workday. I hope this question helps you find something to do today that makes you smile, and maybe it’s something that you can work into your life on a more regular basis too. For me, it’s been giving myself stickers in my journals, for you it could be anything.

Well that’s all for this week folks, keeping it short and sweet. As always, if my words encourage you to write your own words down, and then you feel like sharing those words with me, then just hit reply!

xx Alex